This is one of the last images that I did for my Girl 7 book some time last year.
I have reached a point in my career where I feel a lot like what this image seems to purport. Right now as I am writing this, I am in demand to do all sorts of art for large companies which is a dream for many people, myself included.
I'm thankful for my work and strive very hard to make sure whoever I am working for is satisfied with the product.
However, after a lot of deliberation and self examination of intent I have come to an inner peace with my art that is for myself and not for someone else.
Without doubt everyone has inner secrets and experiences that no one would either believe occurred or would want to hear in some cases. How we express that is is many ways art, at least to me, since it's the purest form of expression if it's wantonly flaunted without care of reprisal or rebuke from others.
Since I was a teenager I would draw for the approval of others or fanfare or just accolade. All of this just feeding my ego and inspiring me along a road of art I might not necessarily want to do.
This followed me into my career, and I am hired for it to this day. I made a living out of a lie in a way. I was addicted to the process and the approval and pay for it.
However something very interesting happened that forced me to burst this bubble. What i did is shut myself out from almost all of my normal outlets during the month of Ramadan and made myself to critically self analyze what it was I was doing and why.
Doing something for work and to feed your family is one thing, but again, what is it you yourself would do if you didn't have to worry about money anymore?
Answering that question honestly scared me, and the result was that all i was doing in my career and otherwise was just feeding this disillusion. When faced with the fact that i will die at some point, I found that none of my accomplishments in my career i found to be satisfactory at all.
Even Girl Seven which has high ratings and sold quite well, even in that I found no satisfaction at all. In fact quite the opposite as i found in that book i drew many things that years ago I would have been shocked to have even thought of drawing.
This is just me being real with myself and holding myself accountable for my work. I am not looking for praise or consolation or support as it will mean little or nothing other than pleasant words that are appreciated.
So here you have it, this piece here above is the closest thing to art i can give you from that book that is more than form and execution but also meaning (at least to me).
I disabled comments on this one as in an art gallery the artist doesn't hear the whisperings of the viewer. Further I didn't do this to hear compliments, and contrarily I accept all the mistakes that are in this piece and promise you I will make many more, heh.
I thank you for your support as now I almost have 2 000 000 views and 40 000 watchers. You have helped me a lot over the years to find what matters and I appreciate you and thank you, even the trolls. If you want to show me support I guess fav it if you like.
I promise that I will come up with something you have all been waiting for!