45o oo Hits!

Thanks for visiting, and thanks for your support for over a year!

You know, about a day ago or so i received a comment from "~bbbahrammm" on a few of my pieces including on my front page that said this : [link] " sorry, but i think your works are Kitsch.your work are only for market.there is nothing behind it. "


Now, perhaps, most people would take this as a type of insult and probably rifle back a foul comment at him, hide his comment , or maybe something else not so nice. I don't condemn any of you who would have chosen any of these courses of action and you would have been fully in your right to do so.

However I agree with him.

You see, I work for money. I have a mortgage to pay, food to put on the table for myself and my wife, and other things that require money. I don't drive a fancy car, or have brand new furniture in my home, or go out for expensive dinners. I work at home in my pyjammas, and by all accounts live an extremely moderate and frugal life.

Be that as it may, I still have bills to pay. Everyone does. This art is what i do to pay those bills every month. It's my occupation, my carreer, it's my job. I am hired to work on things I have no connection with whatsoever in my heart. I make companies thousands of dollars all the while i am forwarding things that i do not believe in, or even think are necessarily good.

For the most part I feel the greater part of what i work on is absolute tripe and nonesense that benefits you in little or no way whatsoever. All the video games and comics for the most part are devoid of any meaningful moral bearings, or even basic virtues. They do nothing but waste your time, waste your life, and destroy you if you get addicted to them. Playtime is fine and we all need it, but not for half or more of the day, everyday, everyweek for years.

People spend more time infront of a screen than an actual person talking, and that is sad.

So when this person says ' there is nothing behind it ' , I honestly feel he is absolutely right. However, he is not in my situation, he is a student and is free to do whatever art he feels does have meaning. He can make political statements if he likes. I had exactly the same view as he did when I was his age. But you know, life is a funny thing and sometimes you get put into situations you don't expect to teach you something.

If you ever get in my position you will see how formulaic this industry is (comics / video games) and how tightly controlled it is by business people who are operating on a very specific agenda: to make money, waste your time, keep you from reading books (especially history books), and create generation gaps. In point of fact there is very little art in the mainstream art industry, a lot of skill, but little meaning if you really look at it carefully.

When I do the art that you see here on my site, what you are seeing is technique deviod of purpose and meaning, at least thats how i feel. All these characters are mainly stereotypes that have been formulated over the years and polished to sell you something. It is commercial in many cases, and i am fully aware of what my job is. The goal is to sell you something by making pretty pictures, sometimes a game, sometimes a story, sometimes an idea / conception.

I can safely say that I would not let my kids get involved in many of the things i am working on right now, and though i didn't start with that feeling, I feel that now and it makes me sick in a sad way that I am contributing to it.

I don't share many view points with any of my coworkers at all, and i have a very different view on what is right and wrong. You will not get to see the real me in this work, you will see my skill and ability.

So why do I still do it? My goal one day is to be able to actually give you real art from me that has a purpose and meaning that you can actually get something useful from. For now I feel as though while my current work is a dream come true for me ( A dream from my youth ), it has also awakened something in me that is saying : " You have spent years helping these companies and people you don't necessarily agree with make money and forward their message and plan, don't you have something you want to say?" Yes, yes I do.

I didn't need this student to tell make me aware of this, I have felt this for a long time. I am working on my own thing, it is really the only way I keep my sanity and I pray to God it turns out amazing. In that way I feel good that I am sharpening my teeth on these projects for my own, and one day i want to be independant of dependence. But that requires a lot of work, and anything good and worthwhile is not easy.

A word of caution to those who want to try what i am doing, if you want to make art, like artsy fartsy i am deep and meaningful art, then keep it as a hobby, you are more free that way. If however you want to make a living off of it, be prepared either to starve for standing on what you think is right, or get paid to do things you might not like.

I don't really have that luxury at this point to chose, and it is either sink or swim. My parents can't bail me out and no one is going to jump in and pay my bills for me, nor do i want that help if i am a dignified adult.

I am sure not everyone sees it this way, and thats is for you to say in your own journal post, but I felt it needed to be said.



So I repsonded to him :
"All this work is my professional work, what do you expect?"

To which he replied:
ok,i agree.you r sincere with your self my friend.




The only art you really do is the art for yourself, everything else is for everyone else. The whole idea is that you have control to do what you please, when that control is taken away from you, you really are reduced to a slave. Perhaps a high paid slave, but a slave nonetheless.



Note: He did also put this comment onto my 'Country Charger' [link] about how my art has no meaning. I think he didn't read the text, because since that pic wasn't done for a company in specific, I could inject a meaning behind it which i did try to do.

Asalaamalaikum = Peace be upon you!





Create your own visitor map!